i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
