Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
