You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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