ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
