I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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