You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
