found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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