help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just pee around me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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