Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I didn't notice because vodka
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
pray to the hookup gods
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
