So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
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