I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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