I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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