when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
