I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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