bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
