The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
