I will die if light touches me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
