No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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