She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
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Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
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Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left