my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I made him laugh his dick is mine