i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.