I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
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Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
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Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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