i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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