I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
