Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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