Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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