He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
