I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
