we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
