I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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