She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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