I faked an abortion last night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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