omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
