I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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