How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
