just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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