At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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