we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
