A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think my fart just growled at me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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