he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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