His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
