Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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