It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
