I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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