The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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