still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
