how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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