I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
