This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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