My liver just broke up with me...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
