Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
