she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
