They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
