hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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