Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
