do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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