Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
